Travis Thomack is my roommate and originally wrote this as a facebook note on January 10, 2011.  He offers some great wisdom and issues some solid challenges to both people who are single and people who are married.

(for starters I’m always open for correction in my theology because I know I’m sinful and can be wrong, Second I apologize for my bad typing skills Also you can tag other people if you would like)

Christians,

I want to talk about something that I have been going through the past couple of days. Well, my roommates would say the last semester, and my journal would say the past year and a half. My point is that it’s been more pressing the past couple of days. Anyway, the issue that I’m talking about is my inner struggle with the desire to be married or to stay single. It has been a roller coaster ride for sure and I guarantee that I’m not close to the finish, but I want to just show what I have found.

First of all I want to say that both being married and being single are biblical principles. I’m not going to go through all of the arguments that people hold about these scriptures, but to show that they are in fact in the bible.

Marriage

Genesis 2: 18 “It is not good for man to be alone” This is a direct resemblance of God’s character. Gen 1: 27 “So God created man in his own image”.  Our God is a triune God, three in one, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, all each an individual but at the same time one. He has perfect community with Himself and we reflect that by having a desire for perfect community.

Genesis 2:22-24. Some commentators (Mark Driscoll) would say that this was the first marriage ever. The Father/creator brings his daughter/creation to the future husband. (v. 22). Man expresses his love and approval for her (v. 23). Then God gives a sermon on what marriage should look like (v. 24)

Ephesians 5:22-33. Here, Paul is writing to the Ephesians about the profound mystery that is marriage. This is one of my favorite passages. Paul goes into how the wife should submit and respect the husband. This is because this is how men feel the most loved. Then God calls men to love their wives as Christ loves the church. This is a call to die everyday for our wives, because showing unconditional love and showing we care for them that much is how they feel the most love. I want to really emphasize Eph 5:31-32, “This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.”  The beautiful thing about marriage is that is reflects the loving and passionate relationship that Jesus has with His church, you and me. THIS IS AMAZING!!! What a powerful thing marriage is!

Singleness

1 Corinthians 7:6-8 and 32-35, “To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am.” Paul is now writing to the Corinthians. A lot of people disregard this passage because in verse 6 Paul says this as a “concession not as a command.” But I want to point out that in verse 32-35 he gives wisdom and logic in his reasoning.

32I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. 33But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, 34and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. 35I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.

Yes people can argue if this is from the Lord or not, but I see truth in the claims that Paul is making. This is optional not a command.

Isaiah 56:1-7 “…To the eunuchs who keep my Sabbath who choose the things that please me and hold fast to my covenants, I will… give them a name better than sons or daughters…) I encourage people to look this passage up because there is more there. The reason why I give this verse is because a commentator by the name of John Piper gave reason that being a eunuch means more than just loosing body parts, but is equating to the people that remain single in the name of Jesus Christ. A quote by Piper,

“And with this promise there comes a unique calling and a unique responsibility. It is not a calling to extend irresponsible adolescence into your thirties. It is a calling to do what only single men and women in Christ can do in this world, namely, to display by the Christ-exalting devotion of your singleness to the truths about Christ and his kingdom that shine more clearly through singleness than through marriage. As long as you are single, this is your calling: to so live for Christ as to make it clearer to the world and to the church”

The Reason Why

I’m not really going to talk about marriage because people know that it is an awesome beautiful thing that God created. I’m not anti-marriage, I just think we put too much importance on it and there is a calling (for some people) that is higher than the calling of marriage. I was listening to a sermon and I realized in all of the conversations that I had with people about this subject, people mostly responded by defending why I should get married. A few people talked about how singleness is a calling for some people and it is a great calling. No one challenged me to seek out my singleness and take advantage of it, so that is what I want to do now.

This Is Me Stepping Onto My Proverbial Soapbox

Just like Paul talks about in 1 Corinthians 7, singleness is a time where you can give your undivided attention to the Lord. When you are married you have so many things fighting for your attention. You have your wife that you are called to love and if you have children, you will have to constantly pour into their lives. You will also have a job because you need to take care of your family because “If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” (1 Tim 5:8)

SINGLE COLLEGE STUDENTS! We have an opportunity unlike any other where we have free time to devote to Jesus. Paul says in 1 Corinthians 7:27 “do not seek a wife.”  He says this because the time we have right now has been given to us by God. We shouldn’t yearn for the future, but be exceedingly joyful where we are currently. I challenge the people that desire to get married to take this time of singleness and get to know your Savior deeply and passionately so you will be able to live your life with your family well. By doing this you will set disciplines in your life to put Jesus first above all. To the people that are not sure if you want to get married yet (I am in this boat still), I say do not fret over if your called to get married or not, but trust God that he has every good intention for you. While you are waiting for an answer or a clear sign, follow God with every minute you have. Finally to the people that are called to a life of singleness I say, GO! Live a life that gives God complete glory, a life that deserves a name greater than son or daughter.

P.S.

I want to be clear here that when I talk about how singleness gives God glory, that does not mean the opposite of singleness gives God the opposite of glory (aka singleness gives God more glory than being married). A good amount of people jump to that conclusion and I want to once again say that the bible gives accounts of how both give God glory. They just give Him glory in different ways. One is not better than the other, they are just different callings.

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